Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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