I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
