Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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