i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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