ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
