So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
