...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
