I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize