You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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