I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Green mimosas i think yes
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
