So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
