Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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