Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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