bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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