I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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