Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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