I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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