we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
