He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize