How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize