ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
My vagina is officially offended.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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