I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
