As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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