; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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