Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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