he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
