this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
