420 ftw
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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