he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
