It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
