And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
