Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
