The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
