You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
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