just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
