i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
soo... how was my night?
Panties = found
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
