I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize