That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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