after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
