shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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