I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
True strength comes from lack of pants
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
