well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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