Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
