found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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