I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
tell me about the fingering
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