Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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