You just made me feel so damn special
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Couch. On fire.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
