Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
