You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
