Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
