Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
