I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
