I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
