I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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