he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
