Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
