butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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