You work out of a Hotel?
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
