it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
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Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize