Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize